Just for the fun of it!

Summer time is never a bummer time! When life gets out of hand, as it seems to 24/7 since 11/9/2016, one can simply walk out the front door and catch the good vibes of the season! It's a swell feeling that can last up to three seconds!!

So... how can we stay on the happy side of things for the other 86,397 seconds of the day? It's a good question. Sleeping helps. But too much sleep makes one groggy, out of sorts and feeling like a Fox and Friends viewer.

And the dreams can be dicey. In a dream I had from last night, Trump commandeered everyone's smart phones, except for his. And though I have a dumb phone,  I had to get his incessant, insipid texts all the time. What a nightmare!

Therefore, we need some positive distractions for the rest of the day. So while we still have access to the Internet and smart phones (most of us), here is a hodge-podge of humorous web nooks and crannies that should entertain you when you need it most! Like right now.

Misunderstanding popular song lyrics is a long-standing tradition at The Daily Kibitz. Often, the misheard lyric transcends the original. A favorite from "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds" is "Suddenly someone is there by the turnstile, the girl with colitis goes by..." Here are a couple of sites that concentrate on other wonderful examples:

https://twitter.com/AwardsDaily/status/1137232906554728453

Those comments are great. "I thought for years the disco song "I love the nightlife" was "I love to knife fight" and I still prefer my version."

Don't forget "We built this city on sausage rolls" and other great ones here:

https://www.nme.com/blogs/nme-blogs/misheard-song-lyrics-6787

Another long time favorite fun-site is The Onion. Whatever yanks your yen, The Onion is happy to comply. We enjoy their absolutely ruthless takedowns of the Trump Administration. But they are equally adroit at any pursuit of life that can be categorized, or even not! Their truth-telling satire is the most potent since Jonathan Swift. The Onion rules!!

https://www.theonion.com

"Bleeding John Bolton stumbles into Capitol Building Claiming That Iran Shot Him."

The writer Molly Jong-Fast is politically astute and hilarious. Her tweets are pithy and pointed. Check out this twitter thread regarding her take on the recent polling that put Trump behind many Democratic candidates:

https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1138830497398874112

Shingles 51%, Trump 40%. Stepping on a nail 54%, Trump 46%. Medically unnecessary pelvic exam  52%, Trump 38%.  Funny stuff. The comments that follow her tweets are usually quite good, too.

Trying to figure out what the hell our Chief Executive is saying or tweeting at any given time requires a lot of help. Fortunately, there are sites out there that tackle this subject. "Translate Trump" is one:

https://twitter.com/translaterealdt?lang=en

Here is a site that imagines if Trump were a character in Lord of the Rings: Gollum J. Trump. He tweets in the vernacular of the original Smeagol/Gollum:

https://twitter.com/realgollumtrump?lang=en

Wow. That is inspired stuff.

Here is a twitter account that snarks at Fox News content, and just about anyone who falls within the orbit of Trump/GOP World:

https://twitter.com/badfoxgraphics?lang=en

"They all look the same."

Let's take a look at one of the best there is, Republican strategist and Never-Trumper Rick Wilson. "Everything Trump Touches Dies" is a meme that originated from him. Take a minute to read through an hour's worth of his tweets and retweets, very funny stuff. Here is a sample tweet from when an angry white woman took exception to his foul language:

https://twitter.com/TheRickWilson/status/1139208842624032768

Speaking of white women, there is the remarkable Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian. Her "No Sin Zone" twitter  site is filled with parody and satire aimed at hypocritical right-wing Christians.  Count on Mrs. Betty to always get it right:

https://twitter.com/BettyBowers?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

Moving on, here's an old reliable, Tom the Dancing Bug. Go here for a complete archive of this great cartoon strip. In this edition, Trump appears as Thanos, versus The Avengers, including Captain Nancy Pelosi.:

And another cartoonist fave, Tom Tomorrow, takes a look at the media's reaction to Robert Mueller's video statement about The Mueller Report. For more Tom Tomorrow, here is where you can find bunches of his excellent work: https://thenib.com/tom-tomorrow

Meanwhile, God is hacked off about Twitter threatening to suspend His account:

For more of his divine pronouncements, check it out:     https://twitter.com/TheTweetOfGod/status/1138461712871436288

Speaking of god, Parker Molloy found a way to put Trump's own stupid words onto "Official" White House templates. This quote comes from The Mueller Report, as described by White House Counsel Don McGahn. Also, the resulting comments are good:

https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/1131536504474480640

Jen Sorenson is a wise and funny cartoonist who has been nominated for the Pulitzer Prize a couple of times. She is that good:

http://jensorensen.com

And if you get bogged down or bored, try The Florida Man Challenge.  It's guaranteed that every day of the year holds some type of awful behavior from Florida Men. Simply "google" Florida Man and your birth day and month. Here is what resulted for my Florida Man birthday challenge for November 12:

https://newschannel9.com/news/offbeat/florida-man-breaks-into-restaurant-strips-naked-eats-noodles-plays-bongos

Oh, ho ho. Well, we hope that these help in getting your summer started on the up beat. Also, too, remember that old reliable, The New Yorker. Enjoy your three seconds!

"Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?"

"I've been up to London to visit the Queen..." Whether or not he frightened a mouse under a chair like in the old poem, our President Pussy-grabber did create entertainment for everyone in the UK and beyond.

As he and his posse arrived there, Maggie Haberman of the New York Times described the Trumps as America's Royal Family. This created a national moment of retch. Then Fox & Friends breathlessly reported how the Trumps were to be welcomed at Buckingham Palace, and then became confused because of protests that were planned. Protests against Trump? How could that be? Aren't they supposed to be our allies?

Well, it was all much ado about something or other. As they usually do, the Trump White House put on a happy face and spoke of how fantastic things really were. Very beautiful, and frankly, the best ever, people have told them, the likes of which have never been seen before.

And as the official publicity photos of Trumps Do The Palace entered the internets, the fun began:

There was a highly-viewed seven second stroll with the Queen that featured Trump's belly preceding the rest of him:

https://twitter.com/Stop_Trump20/status/1135931863162339329

He really is a great big tub of goo, one whose corset has given way under the strain. Anyway, they were on the way to the banquet hall. Trump probably was hoping for his usual two scoops of ice cream while everyone else gets one (hence the mob nickname "Donny Two Scoops").

The rest of the Trump kids were there, too, inexplicably. Except for poor Barron, who was probably grounded by his dad for not groveling enough, the loser. No official word as to why U.S. taxpayers were paying for Eric, Don Jr., Tiffany and other non-governmental family folk. But we did get a chance to witness Senior White House Advisor Ivanka Trump display her unique fashion sense:

Perhaps she was suffering from some sort of massive head injury.

Anyway, preceding all this pomp and poultry, the Trump entourage needed to get to the palace on time for dinner. But dinner only! Unlike previous presidential visits, the Trumps were told they could not stay overnight at Buckingham. It is being renovated. There are 775 rooms there, including 52 bedrooms. But no, no, so sorry, renovations, don't you know. Also, no carriage ride with the Queen, and definitely no address before Parliament!!

So the Presidential Family and White House motorcade proceeded along the route that the royal carriage would have taken. But something was missing here... where were all the people? The official route along the mall to Buckingham Palace was nearly vacant!! When Obama was here, the place was packed and rocking. With Trump: nearly empty. Here is a wonderful series of revealing tweets and photos that include two brief interviews with police on the scene:

https://twitter.com/damocrat/status/1135556208239267841

Oh, ho ho. That is some funny stuff therein. Where are those tremendous crowds of supporters that Fox News had been promising? They must be lining up elsewhere for tickets to his second inaugural...

Meanwhile, there were plenty of actual people gathering for protests. And they protested very well. Here is a fine gallery of the best photos:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/donald-trump-london-protest-signs_n_5cf641e3e4b0e346ce848c3f?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAHG_taKAodA0BSuWZHGIwc0v_FO2PAxRSM1Lcbc-kNdbNePmSPYsp2ULN7JjYUq_4_k6Z_XqZUpa7al--7BAWooCHdnxlpfcpd3tCAGhIFkH4AP0sBUKox2VWfrERxUyKK0aRiq6sDFxvxGWzTWUNglt14yHl-TGCK-93t8UwtDG

Among the many favorites, here is a projected image on the Tower of London:

This excellent projected image was brought to you all by the chuckleheads at "Led By Donkeys". Here is their twitter feed with a bunch more, including projected images of USS McCain hats, billboards with cringeworthy statements from Trump and his supporters, and other really fine tweets:

https://twitter.com/ByDonkeys

And here are a couple other personal favorite pix. From near a protest route:

The next day even more people appeared to protest the President. A highlight included a Trump portable robot-statue tweeting (and farting) on a gold toilet while saying he's a stable genius:

OK, it's not exactly Oscar Wilde-grade wit, but it is funny. Here's the guy responsible for the robot-statue and the fabled Trump Baby Balloon in a fun 30-second interview:

https://twitter.com/Stop_Trump20/status/1136232224590876673

"I'm not debasing him. He's debasing America." Perfectly stated.

Apparently, the BBC News agreed. An entire time block featured the Trump Baby Balloon alongside the news anchor and guests:

But all good fun has to come to an end. The Trumps headed over to Ireland, where Donald wanted to have a televised meeting with the Irish Prime Minister -- at a Trump golf course!!! Thankfully, the PM didn't feel the Trump property would be an appropriate backdrop. That didn't stop our President from telling the PM to build a border wall. He can't help himself.

Next up, France!! By most accounts, he has behaved himself at Normandy. He soberly stuck to the teleprompter to deliver a short speech without any nasty asides. But as it turns out, he did pull a Trump before the ceremony began. He spoke with Fox News with the cemetery graves as a backdrop. And with those thousands of U.S. soldier graves clearly seen in the background, he insulted Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Special Counsel Robert Mueller (as a Marine, Mueller was the recipient of the Purple Heart, Bronze Star with Valor, two Navy Commendation medals, and a Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry... Trump compiled 5 draft deferments). Another national moment of retch. Neither responded to his insults. Pelosi, in particular, reminded reporters that she (like every other national politician) does not ever comment on the President while he is away, or while she is.

It's all fun and laughs... until it isn't. Tragedy tomorrow, comedy tonight!