California is burning, the Great Plains have blizzards, the Midwest is sleeting and Virginia has cold, heavy rains. We must be in mid-November; it's time to get ready for the winter ahead.
Here is a recently received useful summary of Seasonal Differences in the regions of the USA:
60 above - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wooly hats. Chicago people sunbathe.
50 above - New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. Chicago people plant gardens.
40 above - Italian cars won't start. Chicago people drive with the windows down.
32 above - Distilled water freezes. Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 above - Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
15 above - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees - Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt
20 below - People in Miami cease to exist. Chicago people get out their winter coats.
40 below - Hollywood disintegrates. Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
50 below - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
60 below - Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below - ALL atomic motion stops. Chicago people start saying. ."Cold 'nuff for ya??"
500 below - Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series.
Whilst contemplating one's mortality in the face of unyielding change of seasons, one can determine one's IQ by gazing upon the ever-twirling silhouetted nubile nude lady here:
What, you aren't a 'genius'? You can't make the gal spin and turn directions on a dime? Hmmm... you must be concentrating on the wrong part of her anatomy.
Speaking of anatomy, check out the original video for The Zombies' great single from August, 1967. It's a TERRIFIC snapshot into the world of the swinging Sixties, aggressive Carnaby Street fashion and gender branding. Nostalgia for some, nausea for others... but it's all compelling stuff:
And now for the Quote of the Day:
“We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.” -- R.D. Laing
2 comments:
20 above, Virginians can't seem to drive a car to save their life (not that they can anyway). Chicagoans gripe about not being able to see above the mounds of snow next to the intersections.
"one can determine one's IQ by gazing upon the ever-twirling silhouetted nubile nude lady here:"
Oh, hell, there goes the rest of my day.
When you're bored with her you can go here:
http://www.knickerpicker.com/dressing-room.asp
No intelligence needed.
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