"Just another Saab story from a guy who can't keep his hands off a woman's Volvo."

Sweden stood with us after Bowling Green. Today we stand with Sweden!

The world held its breath this weekend when the awful news of Friday night's immigrant-related terrorism incident in Sweden swept the globe. Except, of course, it didn't. And we now know Our Leader was referring to a Fox News program on Sweden that had played that evening. Except, of course, the Fox News program was Fake News, as they say, and full of Doo.

Sweden has had an open door policy for refugees and immigrants for many years. They have taken in plenty from the turmoiled Mideast. As a homogeneous and prosperous white nation harboring brown people in need, Sweden must infuriate folks like Steve Bannon, Donald Trump and the brain trust behind Fox News.

The interview in question revolved around a right-wing documentary filmmaker and her inaccurate claims of widespread refugee-fueled Rape, Murder, Surging Crime and Islamic "No-Go/Sharia Law" communities in Sweden. Here is a Swedish news agency's take:

http://www.thelocal.se/20170220/sweden-facts-a-closer-look-at-filmmaker-ami-horowitz-claims

OK, yup, #lastnightinsweden was an Islamaphobic filmmaker being interviewed on Fox, which is where the Blowhard-in-Chief gets his news, along with InfoWars with conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. And Breitbart News for Paranoid White People.

Which brings us to the question - if Donald Trump wants to make Sweden Great Again, what changes  are in store for the Scandanavian socialist utopia?

They have free health care for everyone. And free education, too. Moms and Dads get extensive paid parental leave when newborns arrive. Five weeks of vacation, by law. Pretty great and extensive national public transportation system. Business-friendly environment with strong environmental safeguards. A narrower income gap. A profound love for nature. Low crime. Much technology. Meatballs. Pastries. Moose and Elk. The list of terrible things that Trump must change goes on and on.

However, all is not perfect in this Land of the Midnight Sun. Darkness cloaks everything for 20+ hours a day in winter. (Of course, that means 20+ hours of sun in the summer.) Taxes are sky high. Standard of living is, too. But you get what you pay for...

And the worst aspect of Sweden is an irrational love for Lutefish and a truly disgusting culinary monstrosity called Surstromming. It's aged fermented herring stored in a bulging metal can. Upon opening, a near-lethal cloud of nauseating and odiferous aromas spews forth, placing any nearby unfortunates into an immediate state of toxic shock. I have witnessed one opened can clear an entire backyard of revelers faster than a methane gas explosion. It is deadly and should be banned by all nations.

So maybe ridding the world of Surstromming would help make Sweden Great Again. The Swedes themselves have a few ideas about their role in our new world, and Donald Trump. Let's watch:

Oh, so funny! What is not so mirth-worthy is the Grabber-in-Chief's declaration on Friday that the news media is "the enemy of the American people." Huh. Not even the Russian thugocracy gets that kind of invective now-a-days. In fact, his constant antagonism towards the press is consistent with the relationship Russian despots have had with their own sources of information. If you manage to de-legitimize any source of objective reporting, your subjects come to depend on You for what is True. That's when a President becomes a Dear Leader.

To dig in a bit on this subject of Truth and Reporting, let's take a few minutes to read the speech delivered last week at UCLA's Daniel Pearl Memorial Lecture by Pulitzer Prize winning columnist Bret Stephens of the Wall Street Journal (no one's idea of a leftist publication). It's well worth your time:

http://time.com/4675860/donald-trump-fake-news-attacks/

All this serves as a shuddering reminder of how close we've moved to becoming an Autocracy in the last 30 days. To further our shudders, here is a sign on display at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, DC. Read it and weep:

I believe we are living in an age where every line above has a check mark.

Well, that is all despairing. But not as much as the great ABBA scare of the 1970s, when Sweden was in the forefront of creating a nihilistic ideology that stressed ear worm melodies, insipid lyrics and Nordic dance styles. Although their influence over the decades has waxed and waned, ABBA is surging again. In fact, they may be the same terrorist group responsible for the Bowling Green Massacre. Here is one of their mid-70s propaganda films:

Mamma Mia! I need to send a signal, SOS! Waterloo, Iowa may be their next target!! It's Sweden's secret weapon and we are helpless to stop it.