Make America Competent Again

Every day in every way, our country gets dumber and dumber. It's an overwhelming task to present so many facts to support this claim of generalized inept behavior, so let's just take a peek at the following recently curated examples:

Six days after Hurricane Maria plowed through it, our President proclaimed Puerto Rico to be an island. Puerto Rico, it seems, is way out in the middle of the ocean and people living there and in US Virgin Islands are even American Citizens, many people do not even know that:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/09/26/the-very-big-ocean-between-here-and-puerto-rico-is-not-a-perfect-excuse-for-a-lack-of-aid/?utm_term=.86dfb1b2a169#comments

During the nearly six days of silence about Maria, the Football-Fan-In-Chief was busy tweeting, just not about the Caribbean disaster. He finally got around to it, though. Here is one of his first Puerto Rico tweets, followed by an able rebuttal by an unimpressed Puerto Rican:


Being President can be hard and kinda confusing. Thinking ahead to anticipate problems can be difficult. And though the impact of Maria on Puerto Rico had been anticipated for a week or so, it seems to have eluded the Great Minds of Team Trump:

http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/26/trump-us-funding-puerto-rico-aid-243166

Got it, the WH says that money won't help in the short run. OK, how about having an armada of international aid steam up to the island with food, water and diesel fuel? Errr... well, there's this thing called "The Jones Act" that prevents non-US ships from performing this sort of function for Puerto Rico. It's a vestige of pre-World War 1 American colonialism. So... waive it, for heaven's sake! Hold on there, the Trump Administration refuses to waive it. Yep, not even for emergency food and water and such. Even though there are nearly 2 million American citizens there without potable water and thousands in hospitals dependent on generator fuel... because, you know, it's about Yankee Greenbacks:

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-storm-maria-puertorico-shipping/u-s-denies-request-for-puerto-rico-shipping-waiver-idUSKCN1C12UI

Holy Moly. It's like there's some sort of Ice-9 brain freeze happening in the West Wing. Which leads to this wonderful Trump impression by a member of the DC Illuminato:

Many people don't know it but "oceans" are just water, okay? I mean you hear "ocean" and you think it's a big Irish foot or something, but it's water. Lot's of water. More than even the swimming pool in the Whitehouse and let me tell you that is a big beautiful pool. Really one of the best, well, you know, not as good as some of the other ones I have up in New York, Dubai, Florida, everywhere really, some really stunning pools and did you know that girls like pools? Let me tell you. You want to see girls? Put in a pool. And I mean they're there walking around and they're wearing almost nothing and it's just you've got to have a pool, right? It's beautiful so beautiful. America needs more pools. More pools and the women will get prettier, I guarantee it. They'll get a nice swimsuit, maybe lose some weight, and they're right there and you know what's really great? A really great pool, there's a guy who'll bring you a sandwich, or taco bowl, whatever you want, right there and you can just eat your food and a soda, he'll bring you a soda and you're at the pool and it's just wonderful.

It is funny, even if it hurts. Then last week, our President decided again that the Iran Deal was bad. Really bad. He gathered up his very best sources (the voices in his head?) and discovered something that somehow eluded everybody else - a big, bad missile launch test that the Iranians did, while sneering at us and making rude comments about small hands. Except they didn't:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/hayesbrown/it-looks-like-trump-angrily-tweeted-about-a-fake-iranian?utm_term=.dnLdANE39#.boz2B3jbn

Dopey and ill-considered behavior has not been monopolized by our Chief Executive. Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin compounded his honeymoon plane fiasco and marriage to a total Marie Antoinette by suggesting on Sunday that NFL players can "do Free Speech on their own time." His boss was pleased, no doubt.


HHS Secretary/Grifter Tom Price apparently decided to join in the Administration's Dumb Fun action early on. He's been identified as a connoisseur of charter flights and seeks them out, even when a quick train from DC to Philly would do the trick, time-wise:

http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/26/tom-price-private-jets-243176

And then there's our old friend, EPA head Scott Pruitt. He's involved with expensive private air travel, too. But what is notable for him is his apparent paranoia. He has increased his security detail from the larger-than-standard three to a swollen figure of 18. (There must be a lot of angry and aggressive tree-huggers out there.) In addition, he has installed a special $25,000 soundproof phone booth in his office:

http://dailycaller.com/2017/09/26/epa-spent-25k-on-a-secure-phone-booth-for-scott-pruitt-to-prevent-eavesdropping/

This leads us to the much-anticipated Comedy Section of today's post!! It has been revealed that a Brit nicknamed the "Email Prankster" has been wreaking havoc in the Administration. We will focus first on his most recent foray, in which he impersonates Jarod Kushner and sends emails to Kushner's WH lawyer, Abbe Lowell. Hilarity ensures:

http://www.businessinsider.com/jared-kushner-lawyer-email-prankster-private-2017-9

The full prankster transcript to Abbe Lowell

Previously, Email Prankster posed as WH social media director Dan Scavino complaining to WH lawyer (and self-professed "only adult in the White House") Ty Cobb about the reporter Natasha Bertrand. This is Comedy Gold,  the stuff for which Yippie Abbie Hoffman would stand and cheer, if he weren't dead. He'd take a knee, at the least:

http://www.businessinsider.com/ty-cobb-emails-prankster-drone-reporter-2017-9

And earlier, Email Prankster mashed the Department of Homeland Security cybersecurity chief Tom Bossert, who freely gave up his personal email address. He impersonated Reince Priebus to an infuriated Anthony Scaramucci. And much much more:

http://www.cnn.com/2017/07/31/politics/white-house-officials-tricked-by-email-prankster/index.html

All this leads to the thought - where is any secured email for this kinda thing? Oh, Kushner and at least six other top aides continued to use personal email accounts for WH business... This is Epic Dumb.

Then there is idiotic Ty Cobb again (yes, it is his real name), this time speaking out loud at a public lunch spot about the Mueller-led Russia Investigation to fellow WH lawyer John Dowd! Lucky thing that the neighboring table was only occupied by Ken Vogel of the New York Times:

http://abovethelaw.com/2017/09/maybe-ty-cobb-just-doesnt-get-this-whole-client-confidentiality-thing/

Sheeesh. Trump hires only the best. What a bunch of maroons. Good thing we seem to exist in a Kakistocracy or else we'd really be in trouble.

Speaking of trouble, the big wind blowing in from Alabama has the Outlaw Theocrat, Roy Moore, poised to become a US Senator. He is adored by the Trump base who think that Trump isn't Trumpy enough. Especially revealing is the quote from the "Hillary" voter who went with Moore because she believes the Bible is predicting the end of the world:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/moore-vs-strange-polling-opens-in-alabama-republican-primary/2017/09/25/9c7192f8-a253-11e7-b14f-f41773cd5a14_story.html?utm_term=.f663b95ecf95

Much can be explained by the 29% rule. There are simply this amount of obtuse nimrods out there, always. The key to electoral success in Deep Red States is to build your base upon that group. Here is an example of their clear-headed thinking:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/21/obama-hurricane-katrina_n_3790612.html

and this wonderful bi-partisan chestnut:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2014/02/25/most-democrats-dont-know-it-takes-a-year-for-the-earth-to-go-around-the-sun/?utm_term=.05539df49ae1#comments

Oh, Science! Oh, Education! Oh, Separation of Church and State! What would Jesus say?

Then there's the utter nonsense regarding taking a knee during the National Anthem. Too much has already been sputtered about all this. Aside from the kneeling issue, our Nitwit-in-Chief blathered on about how namby-pamby the NFL is for calling penalties on excessive hits. While he often speaks like a concussed player, Trump has no idea why CTE is a huge issue in sports.

For a first-rate reaction to the Anthem issue, let's listen to NFL great Shannon Sharpe deliver a terrifically competent series of thoughts on the matter. Please watch the first 8 minutes:

Finally, here is the undisputed master of unlocking the Zeitgeist, Randy Newman. This song, "Rednecks", came out in 1974 and was ostensibly about then-Georgia governor Lester Maddox. But, as usual, Newman had a much bigger target in mind: All Of Us. It is as relevant today as it ever was. Every time I hear it, I laugh and then by the end I cry because it is True. It doesn't get more powerful than this: