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Thursday, May 24, 2018

The Art of the WTF Deal




















"Nobody knows the system better than me, which is why I alone can fix it." So proclaimed Donald Trump when he accepted the Republican Party's endorsement in 2016. It's always a bit of a parlor game determining the true nature of Trumpspeak, but it seems he meant a couple of things. Throughout his campaign, he had declared the USA to be in the worst shape imaginable, ever. And because he was a Bazillionaire with a bestseller called "The Art Of The Deal" he could single-handedly solve our problems.

(The book's ghostwriter, Tony Schwartz, wrote nearly all of it. When asked what he'd title the book today, he answered, "The Sociopath". Also, to get a fun glimpse into the deal-making style of the President, check out this revealing and hilarious piece from March's Vanity Fair, entitled "The Art of the Dunce".)

So... how are these deal-making skills working out? Let's take a quick look at some of the high-profile accords that have occurred or are ongoing.

North Korea. After much posturing and ballyhoo, including creating a collective nuclearized freakout from Japan, South Korea and the West Coast of the US, Trump seems to have secured a summit meeting with NK leader Kim Jong-un. Or maybe he hasn't. The Prez and his allies tout this as a Nobel-Prize-worthy achievement, never mind the heavy lifting was performed by South Korea's Moon Jae-in.  What it really means is North Korea is getting what it has always wanted: regime security and legitimacy. Let North Korea expert Robert E. Kelley explain (Yes, it's that same Robert E. Kelley who inadvertently provided last year's best laugh.):

https://twitter.com/Robert_E_Kelly/status/998426063653953537

It wasn't Trump's bellicose threats.  Honestly, using the "Libya Model" won't inspire Kim to sign the dotted line. It was NK's nuclear weapon program, firmly established as a deterrence to US-led regime change. Now NK's awful, murderous behavior over the years appears to be rewarded. Looks like it worked. (And now he cancelled it!! South Korea not notified, and much confusion, naturally. Such a doofus.)


China. What a punching bag China was during Trump's 2016 campaign! "They are raping our country," he declared. His solution was to withdraw from the Trans Pacific Partnership, a multi-national trade alliance designed to negotiate tough deals with China. In 2017, he did just that. Now in 2018, with mounting evidence that the TPP is in fact an effective tool against China, he has directed his trade representatives to seek re-entrance into the TPP.  Meanwhile, China licks its chops over the prospect of dealing with such a dope.

But not just a dope, a mendacious and grifty dope. Trump threatened trade sanctions against China, but when they didn't immediately bow down, he came up with something else: a bribe from China. Out of nowhere, he announced a deal with China regarding their phone company, ZTE. "Too many jobs in China lost," he said. Jobs in China? Hmmm. This is the same ZTE whose devices surveilled US military and citizens. Check out the responses from a national security expert and an editor from Financial Times:

https://twitter.com/MollyMcKew/status/995684739641208832

https://twitter.com/sdonnan/status/995690540967649280

Then it all became clear a couple of days later when it was announced that The Trump Organization was receiving a new 500 million dollar special loan from China's banks. Let's allow the professional snarkers at Wonkette explain the shenanigans:

https://wonkette.com/633925/donald-trump-so-busy-helping-chinese-company-he-forgot-to-mention-half-billion-dollar-chinese-loan

Oy vey. It's no wonder that Xi Jinping would love to keep Trump as a trading partner! All this allows a moment for my favorite stupid joke: One billion Chinese walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Ya know, we don't get too many Chinese in here." To which they reply, "And with these prices, it's no wonder!"


Iran. This was another evergreen complaint from Trump's 2016 campaign: Iran was being paid to obliterate Israel with nuclear weapons.  Thanks Obama, and Europe! We needed to withdraw from the worst deal ever made!! The real-life problem for the Trump Administration was that the accord was working for what it had been designed to do. Here are some post-Trump-withdrawal reactions from the Rest of the World:

https://www.armscontrol.org/blog/2018-05-09/international-support-iran-nuclear-deal

Trump has a history of making a move that is counter to the basis of nearly every nation. Paris Accord, anyone? And outside Israel's Netanyahu government and Saudi Arabia, nearly every nation disapproves of this withdrawal. Trump claims the Deal needs to be renegotiated. But it's a real mess now. Iran won't do it. Europe wants to hold on to it and do business with Iran, in spite of threatened US sanctions against them. North Korea is looking at all this, thinking "What's the use of making a deal if this guy doesn't honor agreements?" The only winners so far are oil-producers like Russia, Saudi Arabia and Venezuela. Have you noticed the price of gas lately? Read this terrific and chilling article for a complete understanding on why the Iran deal dismantle is a disaster in the making:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/global-opinions/trump-has-put-america-in-the-worst-of-all-possible-worlds/2018/05/11/ff68940c-5553-11e8-9c91-7dab596e8252_story.html?utm_term=.be41f74d97bb

"Hegemony on the cheap" is a wonderful phrase, and fits Trump's worldview completely. It's a broken deal with no backup plan. Unless you count a military takeover of Iran, which is not a good backup plan (see Iraq as a smaller version of how this would play out).


The US Embassy Move To Jerusalem. Actually, this was not a Trump deal. It had been in the works for the last few administrations. But each administration has held off. They'd all recognized Jerusalem as Israel's capital. But they understood that an embassy move was problematic for the "peace process" and the good faith negotiator status that the US enjoyed with both Israel and the Palestinians. Now, that status has been upended in the fracas surrounding the official opening of the new embassy.

The "Deal" here is how the Embassy was celebrated. Trump arranged to have his daughter and son-in-law there representing us (yuck), along with the uber-evangelists John Hagee and Robert Jeffress. And a bigoted Rabbi. No Democrats were invited. And protests leading up to the Embassy move, and the Gaza border area, ended badly for a bunch of Palestinians who got in the way of some bullets.

But it's the inclusion of Hagee and Jeffress that fascinates. Jeffress began the ceremony and Hagee delivered the benedicton. These guys are long-time tele-evangelist grifters who push End-Times ideas into their perverse religious viewpoint. They want Israel and the US to attack The Islamic World, triggering The Apocalypse/Armageddon which will summon forth Jesus and his Second Coming. When this happens, the Jews will convert to Christianity and the rest of the infidels shall be cast into The Lake Of Fire. Good times. When asked why these hateful men were selected for such prominent roles, the White House shrugged and said, "We dunno anything about it":

https://www.buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/white-house-jerusalem-embassy-hagee-jeffress?utm_term=.gfqNJQbw8#.ajQnYVzQK

The Art of the Deal apparently is constructed on lies, deceit and broken promises. This is not unusual for our President. The Washington Post recently observed the milestone of Trump exceeding his 3000th public lie while President. Also, they maintain a fantastically comprehensive database on his 2016 campaign promises. Check it out, it answers any question you may have:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/politics/trump-promise-tracker/?utm_term=.a7ffd9d89c40

Oh, the humanity! Before we let you go, here is another candid peek into the world of Trump. It's a short quote from the former Ambassador to Panama who was called in to discuss that country with the President. It's perfectly revealing:

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dduxcs5U8AAG71a.jpg

"Who knew?" he chuckled. For cry-yi, anyone with a brain would know. And as we observe the passing of American literary giant Phillip Roth, let's read his pithy take on Donald Trump:

"...ignorant of government, of history, of science, of philosophy, of art, incapable of expressing or recognizing subtlety or nuance, destitute of all decency, and wielding a vocabulary of seventy-seven words that is better called Jerkish than English."

Says it all. And now, to lift our spirits, here is a fun 2-minute clip that will get you tapping your toes in an instant. It's the Addams Family, dancing to The Ramones, and it's great!! Lurch is the best! Have a Happy Memorial Day Weekend!



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