Let's Lighten Things Up!

Yes, yes, yes. Here at the Daily Kibitz, we felt the need to lighten up a little. So let's take a break from the glum and accentuate the positive! To help us get happy, we'll look at what's happening with Devin Nunes, some otterly amazing news, nifty archeological finds, Jared Kushner getting locked out of a building, and more fun! Let's go!

Devin Nunes, of course, is a ridiculous congress critter from California. He owns a dairy farm there. And a winery backed with Russian financing. He was the House Intelligence Committee Chair (irony alert). He is an awful person.  He is also the long-time object of widespread ridicule, and has been compared unfavorably to Inspector Clouseau. This week, Nunes entered a $250 million dollar  defamation lawsuit against Twitter and the parody accounts of Devin Nunes' Cow and Devin Nunes' Mom. For your pleasure:

https://twitter.com/DevinCow

https://twitter.com/mom_nunes?lang=en

#BeButter

The Devin Nunes' Cow twitter account had 1200 followers when the lawsuit broke. Four days later, it has exceeded 600,000 followers, much more than Nunes' own account. It's the Streisand effect! His frivolous lawsuit turned a welcoming spotlight on these fun accounts. And the lawsuit will no doubt be dismissed at first contact with a court. (Another Irony Alert: in 2018, Nunes co-sponsored a bill called "Discouraging Frivolous Lawsuits Act.")

But in the meantime, we can laugh! People are sending cowbells to his office! Dozens of new Twitter accounts are sprouting up with names like:

Devin Nunes' Bull. Devin Nunes' Cow's Lawyer. Devin Nunes' Bull. Devin Nunes' Shoe. Devin Nunes' Baby Tears. Devin Nunes' 3rd Cousin. Devin Nunes' Diaper Rash. Devin Nunes' Cow's Mom. Devin Nunes' Safe Space. Devin Nunes Wears Velcro Shoes. Devin Nunes' Sister's Parakeets. Devin Nunes' Inner Child. Devin Nunes' Alt-Mom. Devin Nunes' Fungal Infection. Devin Nunes Is A Whiny Baby. Devin Nunes' Booger Under His Desk. Devin Nunes' Pimp Slapper. Devin Nunes' Mom's Hairdresser. Devin Nunes' Dirty Cow. I'm Devin Nunes' Cow Too. How Now Nunes' Cow. Devins' Retired Cow. Devin "I'm Having A Cow" Nunes.  Devin Nunes' Cock. Devin Nunes' Taint. Devin Nunes' Sister By Another Mother. Devin Nunes' Streisand Effect. Devin Nunes' Ulterior Motive. And many, many more.

Devin's thin skin is showing, and everyone is having a good time with it. Oh, in other Twitter news, don't forget our friend, Turnip, who is running for president in 2020. Although a vegetable, Turnip is already looking at Beto O'Rourke as a running mate for a Turnip/Beeto ticket:

https://twitter.com/Turnip2020

In a completely different direction, we have the latest from In Otter News:

https://twitter.com/Otter_News

"We're otter paper" is also a favorite, as is "Dad has a hangover" both posted from March 18. Really, this whole twitter account is wonderful.

Remember "Goodnight, Moon"? Someone re-wrote the text and it's pretty funny:

Goodnight, Trump

"And a KellyAnne Conway who was whispering 'Hush'." Well, that would keep the kid up all night! In other amusing Trump-related creations, a few commenters over at Wonkette came upon an idea to establish a Trump Greeting Cards line: "When you care enough to send the very worst." Some samples:

"Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl... Here's my number, she'll want it later."

"Dear Son, on this, your birthday... What the fuck are you doing reading? You useless piece of shit."

"In your time of mourning... I'd just like to say... Fuck you, I win."

World Happiness Day happened this week: On the recently released list of Happiest Nations In The Whole World, Finland came in at #1 and the US fell to #19 - our worst showing ever (see our Daily Kibitz story from December for our take on Scandanavia vs. USA!). Jeez, we as a nation need to look at the bright side of life. As the Partridge Family once sang, "C'mon get happy!"

One way we can rise above our gloom is to obsess over this udderly fantastic crazy dance video thread. It's taken from an early 1960's TV show. Someone came up with the idea of lining up favorite modern songs and having the dancers "perform" to them. It's wildly addictive:

https://twitter.com/ParkerMolloy/status/1105988105683849216

Oh, man!! That should bring our national Happiness ranking up at least a couple of notches. My favorite is Rob Zombie, with many others vying for the top spot. Be sure to follow through all of Parker Molloy's choices and then go all the way deep with the comments/other song contributions that follow. They absolutely rule!!

Speaking of wildly addictive, check out the chuckle-worthy and kinda terrifying #floridamanchallenge. It compiles the most recent news stories that feature Florida men behaving badly:

https://twitter.com/hashtag/floridamanchallenge?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Ehashtag

Yes, these people are Americans. Part of the affliction that has infected our under-mirthed nation is Lack Of Education. Our friends at The Onion feature an article that connects Book Learnin' with Back Talk. Let's all keep this in mind:

https://www.theonion.com/scientists-discover-dangerous-link-between-book-learnin-1833405845

Oh, Onion... In fact, they have an exclusive report about some Lost Socrates Dialogues being discovered in an archeological dig. Its contents may surprise you:

https://www.theonion.com/historians-uncover-lost-socrates-dialogues-where-he-jus-1833416965

I suppose Socrates could have succeeded today as a cable news host.

Laugh or else: Real-life news indicating that private emails continue to be used for government business by senior Trump officials! Ex-Deputy National Security Advisor K.T. McFarlane was using her AOL account to conduct highly sensitive interactions with Saudi Arabia regarding the building of nuclear facilities there. Steve Bannon used a personal private email server. Ivanka Trump uses a private, personal server. And the boy wonder, Jared Kushner, he who is responsible for managing most administrative initiatives, conducts his business on What's App!! This is really Top Secret Highest Level Security Practices that will remind no Trump supporter of Hillary Clinton.

Yes, Kushner and the rest of the Trump Administration are much worse than the severely dysfunctional characters from the TV series, "VEEP". Here's boy-wonder Jared as he walks to the office door of the U.S. Trade Representative. It's right down the street from the White House. Someone locked the door, much to the glee of reporters there. Someone had the genius to portray the moment as a VEEP closing credits scene:

Kushner locked out of U.S. Trade Representative Office

Also, to make you feel especially good: Rock's Godmother, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, belting out "Didn't It Rain, Children" outside a wet Manchester, England railway station in 1964. She performed on the same bill as Muddy Waters, Otis Spann, Rev. Gary Davis,  and Sonny Terry & Brownie McGhee. Wow.

Did any of this help?